Shinybass Journal entry 02/16/23

People.

Do any of you have friends that came into your life in the most random of ways? I do. I am a talker. Well, let me correct that. I am a selective talker. I typically don’t talk to people on airplanes. I’m not trying to be rude, but maybe subconsciously I don’t strike up a lot of conversations because there is no ‘out’. You can’t just say ‘Oh, well, I have to get the kids…’ and off you go. Nope. You are there for all 4 1/2 hours to the West Coast. Choose your talking time carefully.

Plus talking the whole time on a plane is a little much, don’t you think? Maybe those around us would like to rest? Or maybe I need a rest? If I’m on a plane, I’m probably tired. And hyper focused. I also like to sort out my life a little on flights. I delete the old stuff from my inbox, and gather ideas for the next round of whatever. But discussing my plane habits is not why we’re here.

Nashville is still a big/small town, and I like seeing my musician friends at the airport. Almost every time I am at BNA I will spot someone I know. I broke all my typical flying rules a few months back and sat next to a fellow bass player, and he and I talked and laughed the entire flight.

Talking with strangers takes on a whole new set of rules and expectations, however. What makes us strike up a conversation in the first place? For me, 100% of the time, I am trying to either get a laugh or a smile out of someone. I have good reason for that.

Next time you board an airplane, look at the faces of the people on board. NONE of them are smiling. None. Probably because they will have to sit next to someone who might start talking to them, right? Or simply because flying stinks sometimes (most times), and they also have zero control of their lives for the next couple hours. I get it.

Also look at people on the elevator. Blank. Faces. I understand people typically don’t walk around life with a silly smile 24 hours a day unless they are chemically or alcohol dependent. It seems, however, there are a lot of down faces compared to happy ones out there. Why not try and change that?

When Miles was at his Hearing School, we had to take several elevators to get to where we needed to be 5 days a week. He was little, and not only was he learning his numbers, but he was also learning to hear and listen. Like most kids, he relished the role of being the elevator operator. Nothing brightens the elevator faster than a small child with a proud look on their face by doing something grown up and correctly.

Then there would be the jackasses who would literally reach over Miles and push their floor buttons as he’s asking which number to press. I promise, floor seven guy, that you will make your stop. We are just on floor number 1. No need to dash dreams or be mad for the 30 seconds we will be together.

I see people, just countless people, walking around, dining, driving, just miserable. I am on a small mission to try and make people smile as much as I can. I’m not running around in a clown outfit (creepy factor level 3), but when I have a chance to interact with someone and the opportunity presents itself, it’s funny man time. The jokes aren’t all going to be home runs, and yes, it’s basically small talk, but you won’t get those moments back, right? Let’s smile a little!

I’ve veered off course slightly. I suppose this could be a study into humans, but really I just want to make the point that new friends can be made in the most simple of ways. Now, just walking up to someone and wanting to be friends can be Level 2-3 creepy as well. In my humble, non-professional opinion, I think that a mutual like or event is the catalyst for new friends. Like your car broke down and someone gave you assistance. Then, sitting and waiting on the tow truck you started talking and hit it off. Coolness.

There also needs to be a little effort made into the whole thing. Being an introvert is totally fine. You do you. But this goes back to my observation of the general disconnect and discontent of people as they walk around life. Heads down, on the phone, frowns on their faces. That’s no way to live. And it happens all too much.

So here’s a random friend back story from me. My wife and I were in Barcelona for her best friend’s wedding. We were dining at the best little restaurant in the Gothic Quarter, and I had a problem. One of my duties for this wedding was to play guitar and sing. Well, I didn’t fly to Barcelona with a guitar, so I was stuck guitarless in Barcelona. I DID meet Ronnie Wood of the Stones a day or two before, but I didn’t ask him for help. There is a Barcelona Musician’s facebook group that I reached out to, and had someone that wanted to help, but I hadn’t heard back. Always the Boy Scout, I wanted to be prepared, and I was trying to figure out options.

Just then, a group of people come into the restaurant and one is carrying a guitar. Whaaaa? After we finished dinner, I approached the table and explained my situation. There were some ‘lost in translation’ sentences, as my Spanish and Catalan are a bit rusty, but we managed to connect, and we exchanged information to get in touch. He was wonderfully generous and happy to help, which was awesome and above and beyond the call. I ended up using a different guitar, but strangely enough, he and I stay in touch to this day. And he’s a monster guitar player in a crushingly good metal band in Barcelona. Who knew?

And one day, who knows when, he and I will collaborate on something. Just because that’s what it’s all about. Only meeting my friend once, I am pretty sure if we go back to Barcelona, we will be in for the time of our lives. And probably see the local live music rooms that aren’t in the travel brochures.

My point to all this? Let random happen. Obviously in a safe, non 48-hours or CSI way. Or at least say hello and let the little kid push the elevator buttons. Be cool, meet some people, and for goodness sakes, look up from your phones or tablets. You never know who you might meet.

Enjoy the day!