Shinybass journal entry 05/27/19

Some summit. Some don’t.

Good morning! I think it is safe to say that the weather has finally cleared (nothing like a snowstorm in late April, right Chicago?), and we are getting back into our touring swing. As a musician, time off is a death wish: there’s no immediate money coming in. For me, time off in April was a blessing. We listed (and sold) our home, and had Miles’ cochlear implant surgery. No big deal, right? Just a couple of huge life changes at the same time. Again, being home was paramount to keep all that running. OK, who am I kidding? My wife keeps it running, I’m just the helper.

So, to jump to the end of the story, Miles has healed up nicely, and the showings are over, and the plane tickets are sent, and I am back on the road. I wouldn’t call it ‘the road’ per se. The past week saw us play two corporate shows in sunny locales: Scottsdale, AZ, and Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. (Terrible, I know).

The resort in Scottsdale was exceptional. They even enlist hawks for pest control. C’mon! It backed up to Camelback mountain, and had some lush scenery and dynamite food. I convinced Jake to get up at 6 AM and hike the mountain with me the morning of our show. What a morning, indeed.

The mountain trail is rated double black diamond, which means super uber kinda might fall and die difficult. To an experienced climber like me, that ain’t nothing. Again, who am I kidding? I am NOT a big rock climber, and truth be known, I have a moderate fear of heights. Yes, I love to fly. Go figure. But this particular morning, we climbed. And climbed. And what a view. We hit it at the right time, when the air was cool and crisp, and the trail wasn’t too crowded.

This trail isn’t exactly a pleasure walk. The trail is just marked with dots on rocks, and there are multiple ways to get to the same spots, which can make the climb more challenging, with some back pedaling as bearings are recalibrated. But all in all, the climb wasn’t difficult, that is, until we hit this one spot.

There was a narrow trail between two slanted rocks, very similar to being on a roof. I got about 20 feet in, and I had to stop. I’m looking down at a steep drop on both sides, and my fear of tumbling several hundred feet got the best of me. Jake went on to the summit, which was only a short distance ahead. I felt pretty defeated. I tried again, and made it further down the trail, however, once again, I had to turn back. I had a hard time thinking of all the things that could happen: fatigue, cockiness, oh, falling. I stayed put and Jake was along in a few.

As we walked back down the trail, we ran into a local who walks the trail frequently. He told us that 3-6 people die every year on the trail. Heat and fatigue are the culprits. The body doesn’t exactly know when it’s tired until it is too late. People also fail to hydrate and lose their bearings pretty easily when heat kicks in. He went on to tell us that it’s rattlesnake ‘season’ so don’t hang out at dusk or predawn. Sage advice. (or sagebrush advice in the west). So did I make the right call not reaching the summit? I dunno. Sure. No. Who knows?

In my realizing my fears, I become strong. I also become somewhat disappointed in myself, and push myself even harder. I am surely hardest on myself, however, if we don’t push ourselves, how do we know what we can accomplish? I mean, fear of falling is a real thing, right? But where I fall short in one way, I am sure to overcome in others. It’s all about balance.

On a foodie side note, Jake and I got off site from the resort (and their $22 hamburgers), and found a place called Barrio Queen for dinner, which may be a chain, but dang. They had it all together. Highly recommended.

My son always wants a surprise when I get home. So Henry got this. It’s perfectly safe to eat, but he hasn’t braved the waters yet…

So a scant 24 hours after we were home from Arizona, we flew out to Los Cabos in Mexico. I have not been to Los Cabos, and the resort was fantastic. We very much like when the corporate shows are in tropical locales. Or at least places home to lizards and warm breezes.

I won’t bore you with details of the show, so I will fast forward past the ceviche, the excellent omelets, the ‘green juice’, and the exquisite hospitality. I will get to the ‘bookend’ to my earlier weeks’ start.

I woke before dawn and grabbed a coffee and headed to the beach. I wanted to see the sun come up, as I like to do any time I am near the water. It was just after 6AM, and through the darkness I started seeing the speckles of light hit the water, and it was glorious. Then the glow of orange kissed the sky and water as one, with the waves adding a soundtrack to the production. Then, I climbed the rock.

In bare feet I stood at the top of the tallest rock on the beach, reached my arms skyward, and stretched further than I have in a while. Continuing my sun salutations, I began to just breathe. I stood and listened to the waves, smelled the salt air, felt my heart beat, and slowed my breathing. Then something extraordinary happened.

I let go.

I let go of the negative. I let go of the worry. I let go of the burden. I had a long conversation with God. We had some things to discuss. I won’t go into the finer points, however, I will say I left the beach more refreshed and energized than I have felt in months. And it wasn’t the coffee.

Maybe the ocean is a different sort of healer for me. Growing up near the Atlantic was a blessing, and every time I get home (which isn’t often enough), I find peace in watching the waves. The ocean calls to everyone, and just like religion or classical music, it means different things to different people. For me, it’s a constant enigma of wonder, opportunity, and life.

A few hours after my sunrise epiphany I went for yet another swim in the swift waters and charged up for a long ride home. The flights were delayed on every front, and I didn’t get home until very late and unfed. At least I was home. And with a little bit of color on my skin and a lot of love in my heart.

The next day we received an offer on our house. I mean, one could say that ‘letting go’ and getting an offer on the house was purely coincidental, however, I will say that by not worrying, the victory was even sweeter. So now we move. And in moving, we’ll be in the school district we need for Miles to get the best shot with his implants, and I can finally get back to my musical work (the studio has been packed up for over 2 months!). Things are finally starting to fall into place.

If nothing else, I hope that this inspires you to figure out how you can let go. No, I didn’t climb the entire mountain. I made it pretty far, and after that ‘defeat’, well, I found victory. And there is a lot more victory ahead. So breathe, let go, and make good decisions. It’s really that simple, isn’t it?

Now get out there and have fun, and hopefully you find all that you seek. We only get one shot at all this.

See you on the road!